Teachers
by imdeadsothere
Summary: Two of the youngest teachers in history have to deal with psycho little sisters, gossip, parents, and most terrifying of all... third years. SLASH. ONE-SHOT. LANGUAGE.


"I still can't believe _you're_ my teacher," Ginny groaned.

"Technically I'm not seeing as you don't even take flying classes," Ron replied.

"But still, _professor_ Weasley, _way_ to weird for my tastes!"

Ron shrugged.

"I think it's kind of cool, and since I'm mostly teaching first years the whole 'I'm the same age as some of the students yet I'm a teacher' thing isn't that weird."

"It's weird for me," Ginny replied.

"Okay, maybe it is a bit weird."

"You do know you only got the post because McGonagall likes you, that and the whole wizarding world is proclaiming you as their hero."

"I like to think it was more than connections that got me the post," Ron shot back.

Ginny just rolled her eyes, "whatever, believe what you will, I should probably go." She stood to leave, waving goodbye to her brother/professor she reached for the door just as it swung in upon the arrival of another person.

"Oh hi Harry!" Ginny tried to say as sweetly as possible, "how are you?"

"Fine," Harry replied curtly, "mind if I get by."

"You know, I really miss you," Ginny said, "we should hang out sometime."

"At least wait until you graduate before shamelessly flirting with me, could you?" Harry replied.

"I don't see why I can't, I used to be your girlfriend you know."

"Exactly, used to," Harry replied. Ginny's smile flew right off her face.

"Fine, if that's the way you're going to be, you know when you finally come running back to me I won't be there waiting for you."

"Good, because I don't want you to be." Ginny humped and stormed out the door, Harry slamming it behind her.

"Well, I see relations between you two haven't improved much," Ron noted.

"She's just so… annoying sometimes," Harry groaned, walking over to Ron's desk and sitting down on it, "like some crazy fan girl that never grew up."

"Yeah, that's about right," Ron said, "but she is my sister."

"Be that as it may she's still a crazy red-headed word that starts with a B."

"Bitch?"

"Ron," Harry groaned.

"It's just a word," Ron replied.

"I know, but we're teachers now, we need to be good role models or whatever it was McGonagall told us we needed to be."

"No one's even around to hear us," Ron replied.

"You'd think that growing up with Fred and George would have taught you that nobody actually has to _be_ here to hear us."

"Guess I still haven't learned my lesson," Ron replied, "so what's going on with you?"

"Third years are the most obnoxious creatures in the world," Harry replied.

"Lovely."

"Quite, for a moment I seriously considered locking them in the classroom with a dozen Cornish pixies."

"I'm glad you didn't."

"Actually I just didn't have any Cornish pixies, speaking of which, do you happen to know where they might sell Cornish pixies."

"If I did I wouldn't tell you," Ron replied.

"Fine then, be all noble, but you're not the one who has to deal with those little beasts."

"Hey I've got first years."

"Yeah, but the first years are sweet, you give them candy and they love you forever, third years on the other hand, they're just temples of puberty, don't even get me started on the fourth years."

"At least it's exciting," Ron replied, "are people still bugging you with questions about what happened during the war?"

"Third years," Harry replied, "the younger ones don't care and the older ones have enough sense not to."

"You really don't like third years, do you?"

"No."

"You used to be one you know."

"Please don't remind me," Harry groaned. Ron laughed.

"Oh come here you," he said playfully, grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him into his lap, cuddling him tightly. Harry smiled.

"You're warm," he noted.

"Weird considering I've been out in the freezing cold trying to teach first years how to fly," Ron said.

"Yeah but, you like it," Harry said, "and you don't have third years."

"You know what I like even more?"

"What?"

"You," Ron replied. Harry blushed.

"Ugh, how are you always so… sweet."

"I'm pretty sure it's your fault."

"How is it my fault?"

"Because I wasn't sweet until I got together with you."

"Yeah, actually you used to be just kind of a… never mind."

Ron gave him a look, "and what were you about to say Professor Potter?"

"Oh nothing Professor Weasley," Harry replied.

"You know, it does sound kind of funny," Ron noted.

"What does?"

"Professor Weasley."

"Maybe a bit."

"Ginny was right."

"Don't remind me about her."

"Whoops! Need a distraction?"

"I'd love one," Harry replied.

"Good," Ron said, and kissed him hard on the lips. Harry eagerly kissed back, somehow managing to turn himself around until he was straddling Ron without ever breaking the kiss. They finally broke apart once air became necessary.

"You are _way_ too good of a kisser," Harry noted, leaning his forehead against Ron's.

"Only for you," Ron replied, giving him a small peck on the lips. Harry pulled back, wrapping his arms around Ron's neck, Ron reached forward and placed his around Harry's waist.

"I hate how we have to hide this," Harry grumbled.

"You know, you can tell the world any time you want."

"I know, I know, and I want to I'm just… worried."

"Though we might want to tell my mother before we go telling anyone else or she'll be having my head." Harry smiled.

"Probably, what about Ginny?"

"Oh, leave her to me," Ron said.

"You think they'll all be okay with it? Us I mean."

"They're going to be perfectly okay with it," Ron said, reaching up and touching Harry's cheek.

"Good," Harry said, "I'd hate hurting them in any way."

"I would too," Ron said, leaning forward and capturing Harry's lips in another kiss, neither one noticing the red-headed seventh year that had come back for her bag which she'd forgotten, standing open mouthed in the doorway, watching her brother make out with what she believed was the love of _her_ life.

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

_Dear mum,_

_I have something to tell you which might come as a shock. The story goes I was visiting Ron in his office just yesterday and I left just as Harry was coming in, but I later realized that I'd forgotten my bag and I went back to get it and I knocked but no one answered so I just opened it and you'll never _believe_ what I saw! I saw Ron, but he was _kissingHARRY_! He was _kissing_ him mum! A bloke kissing another bloke, even worse, my brother kissing my boyfriend! I was so shocked I just turned and ran from the place! I can't believe that Ron would do that to me, he _knows_ how much Harry means to me. I haven't talked to either of them yet, I don't know what to say. I saw Harry in the corridor today but I just turned and fled, mum you've got to help me! What can I do to set things right?_

_Lots of love, Ginny_

Molly sighed as she read the letter.

"I always did think those two were closer than usual," she muttered to an empty room, "Arthur!" she called.

"Yes honey?" Arthur replied, coming out of the living room.

"Read this," Molly said, handing him the letter. Arthur took it, slowly reading it over, by the time he got to the end he was grinning.

"I _knew_ it!" he said proudly, "I just knew Ron and Harry were going to get together! And good for them!"

"So you're okay with it?" Molly asked.

"Course I am, s'long as the two are happy, right?"

Molly beamed, "good, now that we've both agreed on that, what should I reply to Ginny?"

"Tell her to cool her head a bit, Ginny's a reasonable girl," Arthur said. Molly sighed.

"Except when she isn't," she muttered, "should I send something to Harry and Ron too?" she asked, grabbing a sheet of parchment that just happened to be lying on the table and then trying to find a quill.

"That might be a good idea," Arthur said, "oh I know! I'll write it!" he said excitedly, and ran off, also in search of a quill.

_Dear Ginny,_

_I know this is a bit of a shock to you, and I do know how much Harry means to you, but I don't think you should "do" anything other than feel happy for them. There are other men in the world sweetie, so let Ron and Harry be. You'll move on soon, trust me. And aside from that, how is school going? I haven't heard from you for awhile and I was starting to get worried, are you studying for your exams? Oh I'm sure you'll ace them! I'm proud of you sweetie, and don't go getting into any trouble. Oh, and you should probably also talk to your brother and Harry about this, just be honest. I love you._

_Your mum_

Ginny let out an angry sigh and tossed the letter aside. That had not been what she'd wanted. And this was not the way things were supposed to be going! _She_ was the one that was supposed to get Harry, and Harry definitely wasn't supposed to be gay and have the hots for her brother. No, she would fix this. She had to, and she would do anything it took to put things back the way they were _supposed_ to be.

_Dear Ron,_

_Ginny's just told me some awfully startling news, apparently she caught you and Harry doing 'more than friends' types of things, I believe some snogging may have been involved. Well, as your father it is my duty to tell you CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so proud of you son! It's been obvious that you liked Harry from the start and I'm so glad to hear that you two have finally found happiness with each other! Though I wish I had heard it from you and Harry, I'm sure you had a perfectly good reason for not telling me sooner. Don't worry, I'm not mad or anything, and Molly quite agrees with me. We both love you two very much, regardless of who you've chosen to be with, you are and always will be my son._

_Your father_

_p.s. Do you mind asking Harry if the muggles have some different, possibly colloquial, meaning of the word 'tweet'? I heard two muggle girls talking the other day about how they were tweeting so-and-so and then so-and-so tweeted back, and it sounded rather odd so naturally I got curious._

Ron smiled as he read the letter.

"Well," he said, turning to his boyfriend who was sprawled across their shared bed (it wasn't supposed to be shared, but what McGonagall didn't know wouldn't hurt her), "looks like we've ben outed."

"We've been outed, what?" Harry flew out of the bed.

"Don't worry, just to my mum and dad," Ron said.

"And?" Harry asked apprehensively. Ron wrapped an arm around him and dragged him closer to his side.

"And they're both fine with it," Ron said. Harry let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh good," he breathed, "I do wish we had been the ones to tell them though, wait, who outed us?"

"Ginny, she must have caught us kissing or something."

"Really? When?"

Ron shrugged, "I dunno."

"Well she did leave her bag here yesterday, maybe she came back at just the wrong moment," he suggested.

"Maybe, but I'm going to go talk to her, I've got a free period next anyway." Harry nodded.

"Okay, I have to go suffer through the third years again."

"Oh you'll do fine," Ron said, kissing Harry softly on the forehead, "just remember, you defeated Voldemort, I think you an handle a few pubescent teenagers."

"You underestimate pubescent teenagers," Harry replied.

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

"Ginny," Ron called, "Ginny I know you're in there, I just saw you duck in a few minutes ago," Ron said, pushing open the door of an unused classroom. Ginny had placed herself firmly in the corner. She just glared at him and didn't say anything.

"Okay, seriously, what is up with you?"

"Why don't you _guess_?" Ginny replied.

"Does this have anything to do with you finding me and Harry snogging?" Ginny's eyes went wide, she clearly hadn't been expecting him to guess correctly.

"How did you… did mum tell you?"

"Actually dad," Ron replied, "but seriously Ginny, what's going on?" Ginny said nothing.

"Ginny…" Ron groaned.

"You stole my boyfriend," Ginny said.

"Um, I don't actually recall stealing anybody considering that he was single at the time," Ron said.

"That was because he broke up for my safety," Ginny replied, "and then we were going to get back together and get married and live happily ever after because that was the way things were supposed to go until you came along and _stole_ him, what _spell_ have you got him under?"

"Firstly, there's no 'way things were supposed to go,' I'm sorry if reality doesn't add up to your fantasies but that's just the way it is. And secondly, I haven't got Harry under any spell, he's with me out of his own free will."

"Oh right, because Harry would really go for you," Ginny scowled, "with your gangly frame and messy red hair, ever heard of a comb?"

"Ginny, really, why are you doing this? This is just pointless!"

"I want my boyfriend back," Ginny replied, "and I'm going to get him back."

"No you're not," Ron replied.

"Wanna bet?" Ginny asked.

"Yes, because a little girl who never grew up out of her childhood fantasies like _you_, is never going to be with Harry."

"See, now you're just being mean," Ginny said.

"Yeah, and I wonder who started it," Ron said, disgust coating his every word, he turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Ron kept an extra close eye on Harry for the next few days, wondering when Ginny might make her move. But three days passed and nothing happen, and Ron let his guard slacken just a little. He found Harry after dinner, sitting on their bed, fists clenched and face determined.

"Harry, what is…?"

"Love potion," Harry replied sharply.

"I am going to kill her," Ron said simply.

"I am currently attempting to resist it," Harry explained, "it appears to be shittily made so fortunately it's not difficult but…"

"Should I go get Slughorn?" Ron suggested. Harry shook his head.

"No, I'll be fine just… kiss me."

"Is that you or the potion," Ron asked, coming over and sitting down next to Harry.

"Does it matter? Just do it please," Harry begged. Ron took a hold of Harry's head, leaning forward and kissing him softly on the lips, before pulling away. Harry looked relieved.

"Did that help?"

"Yeah," Harry said, he smiled, "now I just have to avoid seeing Ginny until the potion wears off so that should be sometime really early tomorrow-ish, thank Merlin I don't have any more classes."

"Thank Merlin," Ron agreed, "did she really give you love potion?"

"All I know is that one moment I was taking a sip of my pumpkin juice and the next I was daydreaming about frolicking in some field hand in hand with Ginny."

"Frolicking in a field, huh?"

"Oh God Ron, you should have seen it, it was just filled with these obnoxiously colored flowers that were just hideously huge, I felt like I was in Alice in Wonderland's nightmare." Ron chuckled.

"Sounds horrific," he said.

"It was, trust me," Harry replied, "but why?"

Ron shrugged, "she's just gone nutters," Ron said, "I think I'm going to talk to McGonagall."

"Oh you don't have to," Harry said.

"Oh but I want to," Ron replied.

"I just don't want to cause trouble," Harry said, "come on, her love potion plot didn't even work, I doubt anything else will, it's not like we have anything to be worried about."

"Fine," Ron agreed, "but if she does anything _really_ bad, I _will_ go talk to McGonagall."

"Okay," Harry agreed, "but it has to be really bad."

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

"Harry," Ron called cautiously up the stairs, "Harry this is really bad."

"What is it?" Harry asked, coming down the stairs, hair still wet from his sower as he tried to force a comb through it.

"Seen _the Prophet_ yet?"

"Why what is…" Harry snatched the paper away from Ron, reading it, his face growing more and more disgusted by the second.

"That fucking _bitch_!" Harry screamed, throwing the paper across the room. Knowing exactly how fierce Harry could get when he was mad Ron quickly pulled him into the best hug he could muster. Harry relaxed slightly in Ron's arms, his breaths were still coming heavy and angry, but at least he wasn't breaking anything, which was what usually happened when Harry got angry.

"It's okay Harry," Ron whispered quietly, "we're going to be okay."

"You will," Harry replied. Pulling out his wand he set the paper on fire. And a few hundred kilometers away Molly Weasley picked up her copy of _the Daily Prophet_, looked at the front page headline, and screamed.

"Arthur!" Molly called, waving the paper as she hurried up the stairs to her husband, "Arthur you should see this!"

"See what?" Arthur replied, stepping out of their room trying to straighten out his work robed. Molly handed him the newspaper, her eyes wide. Arthur looked down at it, his only reaction a very loud "bloody hell!"

"Is this true?" Arthur demanded.

"Not that I know of," Molly replied, taking the paper back, "it shouldn't be, Harry and Ginny never got that far, did they?"

"Not that I know of," Arthur replied.

Not to far from then Hermione Granger picked up her newspaper and then picked up her floo powder.

Ron let go of Harry with a start just as Hermione came tumbling through their fireplace.

"Hello boys," Hermione said calmly, "I take it you've seen the morning papers?" Ron nodded dumbly.

"Now, this is all completely wrong, am I correct?" Hermione asked, holding up her own copy of the newspaper. Harry nodded. Hermione sighed and looked back down at the paper, the large headline boldly proclaiming "Ginny Weasley Pregnant with Harry Potter's Baby."

"She must really be trying to get you back Harry," Hermione noted.

"She found out about us, just the other day," Ron said.

"Did she?"

"Yeah, and she said that she was going to do whatever it took to get Harry back." Harry looked up at Ron quizzically.

"When did this happen?"

"Not to long ago, I didn't tell you because I didn't want to worry you." Harry shrugged.

"I always kind of figured she was after me," he said.

"So Ron, do you have any idea where I might find her? I would very much like to curse her brains out. Oh wait, she doesn't have brains."

"Probably the great hall," Ron replied, "I'm going to go talk to McGonagall."

"I'm staying here," Harry said. Ron stopped. He really didn't want to leave Harry alone, especially not now. But he really needed to talk to McGonagall. Fortunately, McGonagall saved him by bursting into their room right then.

"Ah-ha!" she cried gleefully, pointing her finger at Harry, "I thought I might find you here!"

"Professor, are you okay?" Hermione asked.

"Oh hello Granger," McGonagall said politely, before turning back to Harry.

"Professor, you do know it's all a big lie, right?" Hermione said.

"Oh of course I do!" McGonagall said casually.

"Then why were you acting all 'ah-ha! I've found you!' a few minutes ago."

"Oh, I was just gleeful that I've finally gathered more evidence to prove my theory," McGonagall replied, "see, I've suspected for awhile that something's been going on between you two and when I went to Harry's room this morning to talk to him about that blaster article I noticed that he wasn't there and then I thought 'ooh! I bet he's with Weasley!' and I got really excited because now I _know_ there's something going on between you two!" she pointed a finger at Harry and Ron, still looking slightly scary.

"Um, professor?" Ron trailed off.

"You boys do know you can call me Minereva," McGonagall said, "but now back to other matters such as this article," she picked up her newspaper, "I have already apprehended Miss Weasley and dragged her off to Madame Pomphrey who can confirm that she is indeed not pregnant and I've already had this sent off to the Daily Prophet for a correction, unfortunately Rita Skeeter wrote this article," McGonagall made a face, "however I do believe that perhaps one of the Daily Prophets other much better writers might take care of it."

"I am going to kill my sister," Ron groaned.

"Oh don't do that," McGonagall said, "you'll go to Azkaban, however I have a friend who can take care of it very under the table if you like."

"Um… no thanks," Ron said.

"Well thanks Professor," Harry said.

"Of course, some people will believe anything that Skeeter woman says, no matter how many times it's proved to be blatantly wrong."

"You know we could always just…" Ron looked down at Harry, "I mean, only if you want to. We don't have to do it like this, but it might at least change the direction of their conversations." Both McGonagall and Hermione looked confused, before it slowly dawned on both of them.

"Yeah," Harry said, "I think it's about time we tell anyway."

"I _knew_ there was something going on between you two!" McGonagall said quite cheerfully, "now if you'll excuse me, I've got some points to remove from Gryffindor, I do however wish there were away to remove points from Miss Weasley without harming Gryffindor, oh well, maybe I'll suggest it," she muttered to herself as she left the room.

"She really has gone a bit off her rocker, hasn't she?" Hermione noted.

"And you didn't believe me," Ron said.

"Well, so you guys really think you might tell the world about you two then?" Hermione said.

"I think we should," Harry said.

"You're not doing it just because of this, right?" Ron asked.

"Actually, I've been thinking about it for a little while now," Harry said, "after everything went so well with your mom and all that, I was thinking a little later but I guess now's as good of a time as any."

Ron smiled, and wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder.

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

Harry Potter… gay?

Have you heard the news? The Chosen One has Chosen someone, and that someone is in fact his best friend Ronald Weasley. Yes, you heard it right, Harry Potter is gay and in a relationship with his best male friend. Isn't it just romantic? Ladies, calm your tears, I know you all hoped for a chance at a life with this handsome man but unfortunately that door has closed, and another one has opened. One filled with cute pictures of this adorable gay 'it' couple. I can't wait to see them at the first Victory Ball this year, me and the other ladies here at the _Witch Weekly_ are already discussing about whether or not they should wear matching robes, I think they shouldn't, but my dear coworker Miss Mina Murray from _Love Bites_ (pg. 24) thinks they should. Do you think they should arrive in matching dress robes? Send your thoughts in and we'll publish our favorites in next month's issue!

Hermione had a satisfied smile on her face as she read the article, not that she regularly read Witch Weekly or anything, okay, she did, it was a guilty pleasure of hers, but in this case she actually had an excuse. She sighed and set the magazine down. Things were going pretty well. Harry and Ron's coming out had gone fairly smoothly, and most of the world had completely forgotten about the whole fake pregnancy thing. Ginny had dropped out of school and was apparently back at home with a very stern Mrs. Weasley, she hadn't heard much else about it later. Harry and Ron didn't seem to be getting too much crap, except Harry insisted that the third years had gotten worse, but Hermione figured he was probably just imagining it.

Meanwhile, several hundred kilometers away Harry sat happily at his teacher's desk staring at his classroom full of third years all of whom had been silenced and glued to their chairs. Now… what was that counter curse again?

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

Mrs. Weasley sighed, Ginny had been off for months. She'd always been a little off, but this was worse. And as much as Mrs. Weasley disliked what Ginny had done, she was still her mother. She looked over at Ginny, who lay on the couch cuddling two pillows, talking to them. She kept referring to one as Harry, the other one was 'Little Sally.' Mrs. Weasley sighed, and checked the clock, the real one. The men from Saint Mungos were supposed to come at noon. Arthur had finally convinced her that it was for the best, after the whole fake pregnancy ordeal Ginny had finally snapped. Stuffing pillows in her shirt and insisting that it was Harry's. She'd even faked having her water break when she spilled a glass of water in her lap. Mrs. Weasley checked the clock, it was almost noon. She looked back at Ginny who was rocking the pillow now. She hated this, she really did. But it was for the best. It all was. There was a knock on the door, and Mrs. Weasley answered it. There stood three men from Saint Mungos, and for the longest time Mrs. Weasley just stood there staring, if she let them in, that would be it. Should she do this? Could she? No, she had to. And she stood aside and let them in.

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

AN: Okay, so this was a request from leobutler. I don't normally do requests but I kind of liked the idea so I did it, but don't y'all go about abusing this whole 'request' thing, yeah, I'm lookin' at you...

Leobutler, I hope you like it!

And yes, Ginny did go insane at the end. I wasn't really sure how to transition her from mildly insane to flat out insane so I didn't.

Oh, and did anyone catch my shameless _Dracula_ reference? I'm sure it had nothing to do with Miss Mina Murray from Love Bites, no, that would be too lame of a shameless Dracula reference. Okay, that was it. But to be honest, the "Love Bites" was totally unintentional, I was trying to think of a good title for some girly magazine section and I thought of that and it wasn't until later when I looked back at it that I was like "Freudian slip!" Yeah, I'm reading that book for school right now, can you tell?

Don't forget, it's Ron's birthday today!


End file.
